Interspecies Wrestling: Slamtasia 4

Montreal, Quebec, Canada – 11.20.2011

Commentary is provided by Mike Rotch and a rotating cast of people that includes Eddie Kingston, Shayne Hawke, Twiggy, Addy Starr, Dan Barry and Shanna McCord.

A slew of pre-recorded promos (most of which were put on YouTube) begins the show. Nearly 45 minutes worth.

Buck Gunderson talks about how all his life he wanted to be a superhero. Unlike them however, he had no tortured past to make the transition. This dream led him into professional wrestling so he could have more trauma in his life. Pauly Platinum, his opponent, on the other hand is a confident individual who is looking to make the most of his debut in the ISW pre-show tonight.

Dan Barry is looking to make sure he doesn’t get left out of Canada again, so he heads to the Canadian Consulate. Last time Barry was scheduled for a match in ISW, he was apprehended at the border and this fiasco went down. They’re office is closed, so he’s going to smuggle his way in. Barry is counting on Dr. Gene Spleissing to make a real opponent for him on the show.

GLAAD Badd recaps what has happened to him at the past couple of ISW shows, the biggest deal being that his brothers Chad and Brad, along with his nephew Ricky Baddcliffe, spoiled his party and put a beating on him. He laid out a challenge for Brad and Chad tonight in a tag team match. GLAAD’s partner at this time is not known.

Lloyd Cthulowitz, Dr. Speissing’s original creation is in his law office working. His promo is given subtitles since we can’t understand his language. He believes he has been wronged in his past two matches. He feels the referee slow counted him in his match at Burger King of the Ring against Izzie Deadyet. He says all he needs is another match with Deadyet to make things right. He will get that match tonight.

Jolly Roger is looking through his refrigerator. Jigsaw comes in to steal something from the fridge. He was planning to party when he returned to Canada, but then he found out he had to face a guy named Shitty. Roger plans to kick the shit out of him because he’s standing in the way of his true goal, which is to acquire ISW gold. He tells Shitty to be prepared.

Michael Von Payton put out a promo two weeks before this event, worried that he wasn’t even on the show. Payton puts out an open challenge since he doesn’t trust ISW to give him a match he’s worthy of. Payton says that of everyone that wasn’t already booked on the show, Bastian Snow stood out. He plans to crack Snow’s shell and eat out his insides. He claims Bruno Sammartino has supported him in this challenge and believes Bruno will be proud of what he sees. In the promo that follows, Snow accepts the challenge.

Beef Wellington surprises Michael Llakor, the head of ISW, at his office. Wellington knows that he’s been on the downswing for the past couple of years and he believes that it’s because he has been lacking purpose. He wants to fight Giant Tiger at Slamtasia. Llakor informs Wellington that Twiggy already has the title match. Wellington tries to tell Llakor that Twiggy forfeited the match to him, but Twiggy’s agent denies him. Llakor says Giant Tiger told him to put Wellington to put him in a match with Eddie Kingston. Llakor is reluctant to do so, but Wellington decides to take the match anyway. Wellington also says he sent Llakor some dick pics, which Twiggy’s agent is in to. The next promo shows Edde Kingston watching Impact Wrestling and nursing his hurt knee. He says he put off the doctor looking at his knee since he is Giant Tiger’s gatekeeper. He says Twiggy had to go through him to get his title shot at Giant Tiger and Wellington will be no different. He tells Beef that he’s fucked.

Player Uno finds it awkward talking to a camera alone his room. He feels like a screw up since he’s been losing in ISW a lot lately. He believes all of that is going to change his losing ways come Slamtasia 4. If he loses, he would consider leaving ISW. Frankie Arion, one of Player Uno’s opponents…well it seems a women is giving him “that special favor” in the restroom. She asks what he thinks of his match with Uno and Arik Cannon at Slamtasia. He doesn’t seem too worried about it.

Moohammad the Terrorist Cow is sitting at home. He’s happy because he has El Hijo del Bamboo at the next show.He reminds Bamboo that he was the one who freed his father and was a good friend to him. He sees it as an honor to face Bamboo at the next show. He says no matter what Bamboo’s father meant to him, he will do anything to retain his “Other” Championship.

Twiggy has been waiting to get his ISW title shot for awhile and is happy to finally get it at Slamtasia 4. He says only one of them can come out on top, and he’s fairly certain that man will be him. The next promo shows Giant Tiger telling a man servant of his to wait in his bedroom as he talks to the camera. He resents that Twiggy gets everything handed to him. The one thing he has that Twiggy doesn’t is the ISW title. He tells Twiggy that he will have to get inside of his head to win the title, which won’t be an easy task. A follow-up promo from Twiggy shows right after with some final words before Slamtasia 4. He talks about how many people have not believed in him through his career but he’s proven them wrong. He has the same odds stacked against him going into Slamtasia 4. The last thing he has to cross off his list is winning the ISW Championship. He’s gone through all the road blocks and has the finish line in sight. He says the League, Giant Tiger, and his title reign will all go down on Sunday.

And now onto the show!

Pre-Show Match
Pauly Platinum vs. Buck Gunderson

Platinum smacks Gunderson’s hand away instead of shaking it. Platinum slaps Gunderson a few times when Gunderson pokes him in the chest. Gunderson takes him down with a Thesz Press and multiple punches. Gunderon headbutts Platinum JYD style. Platinum misses an elbow drop. He kicks the ropes when Gunderson comes to step back in the ring. Platinum does damage to Gunderson’s leg. Platinum steps on Gunderson’s groin after distracting the referee. Platinum pulls Gunderson out of the corner. He chokes Gunderson on the mat and bottom rope. Platinum delivers a clothesline. Gunderson enzuigiri’s Platinum in response. They exchange punches back on their feet. Gunderson double overhand chops Platinum twice. He gets two with a dropkick. Gunderson sets Platinum across the top rope. From underneath he scores some punches. This sends Platinum out to the apron near the stage. Platinum slingshots Gunderson onto the stage. He throws a few foreign objects on Gunderson’s head before getting a two back in the ring. Platinum nails a boot after avoiding an O’Conner Roll. He hits a modified Death Valley Driver for the pin at 8:32. Not a great outing from either guy. Gunderson looked painfully average and very nervous. Platinum was fine, but outside from a few random calls to the crowd nothing about him stood out. Hey, at least it was on the pre-show. 1/2*

Jolly Roger vs. Shitty

Shitty knees Roger in his mid-section. Roger and Shitty engage in a little Lucha until Roger armdrags Shitty to the stage. Roger dives over the top and onto Shitty. Roger ties Shitty’s limbs together back in the ring. Roger kicks Shitty out of it and throws him into a couple corners. Shitty throws Roger face first into the second turnbuckle. He chokes Roger with his vest. Shitty gets in a few strikes as Roger tries to recover. Roger gets in a kick from the corner. Shitty clotheslines him back to the mat. Roger delivers a nice hip toss neckbreaker to shift the momentum of the contest. Roger back elbows Shitty in the corner. He hits a tornado kick for two. Shitty gets the ropes to break Roger’s Dragon sleeper. Shitty pulls the referee in the way to avoid a splash. He goes for a powerbomb. Roger rolls through but eats a knee strike. Shitty boots Roger after a low DDT. Roger connects with an enzuigiri. He hits a fisherman’s neckbreaker. He follows with a 12 Large Elbow for two. Roger springboards in from the stage. Shitty kicks him as he comes into the ring. He gives Roger two piledrivers for the pin at 9:16. For those who haven’t seen Roger since his CHIKARA guys, the guy has not lost a step whatsoever. He and Shitty had a good back-and-forth contest with the fans solidly behind Roger the whole time. Good, solid opening match. **1/2

Bastian Snow vs. Michael Von Payton

Snow already gets major points for using the South Park “Crab People” chant as his entrance theme. Snow controls Payton by his arm. Payton pokes Snow in his eye. Payton foolishly forearms Snow’s shell multiple times. Snow claws Payton and delivers an STO. Snow sentons shell first onto Payton’s back. Payton rolls to the floor when Snow begins to crab walk on the ropes. Snow however follows with a double axe handle off the second rope. Payton again elbow drops Snow’s hard shell when he gets back into the ring. Payton figures it out and kicks Snow in the back. He pump-handle slams Snow for two. A backbreaker proves fruitless. He suplexes Snow on the mat instead for two. Snow catches Payton’s leapfrog in the corner. He Finlay rolls Payton and then fisherman suplexes him for two. Payton side swipes a dive off the second rope. Payton lands a spinebuster. He pulls out a fork and knife in an attempt to try and eat Snow. Snow however turns him into a Boston Crab. Payton gets the ropes to break it. Snow sends Payton to the stage. Snow smacks Snow in the eyes. He comes in from the apron with a sunset flip and holds the tights for the pin at 6:30. Another solid wrestling contest. There’s a lot of shtick from Snow’s end, but it worked into the match organically and added to the overall contest. **1/2

Dan Barry comes out for his match. Dr. Gene Spleissing comes out and hands a note to Llakor to introduce. The newest creation is a “mythical fox creature from the Orient”. Kitsune is the name of this creature, who is a essentially a ninja warrior with a mask stylized after a fox.

Dan Barry vs. Kitsune

Barry is quite proud of himself for hip-tossing his way free from a wristlock. Barry also breaks out of a headlock and dropkicks Kitsune in the back of his head. Barry applies his own side headlock. He rams his boot into Kitsune’s head whilst keeping the hold on. Kitsune shoots Barry to the ropes. Barry drops right back into the side headlock like a boss. Kitsune cartwheels into a dropkick. He elbows Barry in the corner. He back rolls over Barry. Barry ducks an enzuigiri but gets kicked thrice in the chest. Barry turns Kitsune inside out with a back suplex. Barry back elbows Kitsune in the corner. He hits the Broski Boot as a tribute to his trainee Zack Ryder. Kitsune sunset flips Barry for two. Barry suplexes Kitsune. Kitsune gets in a few strikes before Barry delivers a leg lariat. Barry stomps his knees into the mat and then puts on the Romero Special. He turns it into a leg-capture Dragon Sleeper. Barry punches an elbows Kitsune in the chest and chin before releasing the hold. Barry ducks some kicks and delivers a right hand. Kitsune spin kicks Barry in the side of the head, rendering both men down on the canvas. Kitsune kicks away at Barry’s legs. Barry cartwheels off the ropes, but is met with a tornado DDT of sorts from Kitsune. Kitsune gets two with a running shooting star press. Kitsune gets two again after a Falcon Arrow. Barry is able to evade a shooting star double stomp. Barry crotches Kitsune on the top rope. He brings Kitsune off with a moonsault fallaway slam (called the Irish Car Bomb) for the pin at 10:34. Barry is seriously excellent. If you haven’t seen him, do so, because he’s got a lot of talent and character. Kitsune also had an impressive outing in his debut. His athleticism and offense got him over in no time. Real good stuff from both guys. ***

Chad and Brad Badd come to the ring for their match. Ricky Baddcliffe is in their corner. They call out their brother GLAAD Badd. I’ll recite their promo in a less colorful manner. They basically reiterate that they dislike GLAAD because he’s a homosexual and even angrier at their father for accepting it. They’re proud that Ricky sent their father (his grandfather) to jail. GLAAD gives Ricky a kiss. Chad and Brad attack GLAAD until Addy Starr runs out. She’s GLAAD’s partner for the match! GLAAD grabs both of his brother’s asses which sends them to the floor.

The Badd Boys (Brad & Chad Badd) vs. GLAAD Badd & Addy Starr

The Badd’s double clothesline Starr at the bell. They bully her in their corner until she evades a double suplex. She rolls through a clothesline and tags in GLAAD. He’s able to forearm both of his brothers in opposite corners. He even drop toe holds Chad into Brad’s crotch. GLAAD humps Chad in the behind. Starr and GLAAD go for cockslams. Ricky breaks them up. This distraction allows Brad and Chad to hit the Badd Move on Starr. They almost have the three count but pick Starr up at the last minute. They hit the Demolition Decapitation for the pin at 3:23. That was pretty much an extended angle, but an entertaining one while it lasted. N/R

The Badd’s continue to beat on GLAAD after the match. Brad announces that they’re going to abduct GLAAD and teach him what it’s like to be a real man.

Suddenly, “Bad Boy For Life” by P. Diddy hits and brings The League of Extraordinary Men (Giant Tiger, Eddie Kingston, Sexxxy Eddy and a few others) to the ring. Kingston holds Addy so Tiger can spear her. Eddy tells the crowd that the ISW title is going nowehere. Eddy reads a poem to Giant Tiger, which turns out to just be the lyrics to the Golden Girls theme song. Kingston presents Tiger with a new “Beef Father Fucker” championship belt which is a toy replica of the NWA title. Tiger puts down the fans in a very vulgar and sexual manner. He reiterates that he’s coming after Twiggy in the main event later on. The League moons the crowd before heading backstage.

Player Uno vs. Frankie Arion vs. Arik Cannon

Cannon stops to purchase some beers on his way to the ring. Arion and Uno start off without him. Cannon stands on the stage watching his opponents fight for control. Uno shoulder blocks Arion and punches him in the stomach twice. Arion rolls through a sunset flip. He stomps Uno in the stomach. Cannon trades out his beer bottles to Uno and takes his place in the match for now. Cannon works his way out of a wristlock. He takes a swig of beer which pleases the crowd. Arion delivers a few different armdrags. Per the fans request, Cannon drinks some more beer with Uno. Arion pretends he’s going to join in but dumps the beer out instead. This raises the ire of both Cannon and Uno. They throw Arion back into the ring. Uno and Cannon use their common ground of love for beer to team up. Cannon clotheslines Arion and lifts up Arion in a vertical position. Uno feeds him beer. Cannon drops Arion out of the suplex to grab his beer bottle. Uno airplane spins Arion which makes them both dizzy. Cannon and Uno argue over who is going to go for the pin. On the stage, Cannon traps Arion with his knee and pours beer into his mouth. Pissed off, Arion kicks away at both opponents in the ring. Arion tries to backslide Cannon but settles for a neckbreaker. He bulldogs Uno for two. Arion scores an enzuigiri. He comes off the top with a dropkick to Cannon. Uno knee strikes Arion in the corner. Cannon rocks Uno with a punch and superkick. He drops Uno with a brainbuster for two. Uno kicks Cannon out of the corner. Uno catches Arion with a Lethal Injection for two. Cannon forearms Uno and slams him. Cannon misses a second rope moonsault. Arion sends Cannon out with a Canadian Destroyer. Arion German suplexes Uno. He grabs his Axe Spray and heads up top. He hits the Double Pit Chesty Splash for the pin at 11:12. The message here kids is if you drink during your matches, you won’t win. But in all seriousness, this was also a lot of fun. The crowd got to do some tongue in cheek heckling which made the beer the star of the show. All three guys made it work and delivered an entertaining contest. Llakor calling Uno “Player Boozo” afterwards deserved a snicker. ***

Eddie Kingston comes out to the ring with Sexxxy Eddy. He does his very own ring introduction. He introduces Beef Wellington, who comes out in UFO pants and kickpads to a Linkin Park song. Clearly this is him making fun of every 2001/2002 generic indy wrestler. I appreciate that.

Beef Wellington vs. Eddie Kingston

Kingston stalls. Wellington gives Kingston a Rock Bottom since the fans are inexplicably chanting for him. Wellington throws punches at both Kingston and Eddy on the floor. Kingston throws Wellington into the merchandise table and hits his dick. Wellington throws a copy of “Boner Jam” on DVD into Kingston’s face. Wellington knee strikes Kingston back in the ring. He rams his crotch multiple times into Kingston’s face. Kingston catches Wellington coming off the ropes with a Manhattan Drop. Kingston boots Wellington and chokes him with the microphone cord. Kingston brings a chair into the ring. Kingston places Wellington in the ropes and delivers a running forearm. Kingston rubs Wellington’s face whilst applying a Camel Clutch. Kingston bites Wellington when he begins to fight back. He rips Wellington’s mustache off. This angers Wellington, causing him to throw forearms and chops in the corner. Wellington gets his knees up to block an attack. He crossbody’s out of the corner for two. Wellington trips Kingston on the middle rope. He hits the 619. Kingston chokeslams Wellington as he comes off the top rope for two. Wellington rolls into a body block. Wellington is too dazed to follow up after an X-Factor. Montana America, one of Giant Tiger’s followers, oils himself up to distract Wellington. This allows Eddy to hand Kingston a foreign object to put in his pants. Wellington hits the Ass Punch but it hurts his hand. Kingston then hits the FU for the pin at 9:14. Kingston and Wellington’s personalities really made this entertaining. Otherwise it was pretty basic stuff throughout. **1/2

Llyod Cthulowitz vs. Izzie Deadyet

Cthulowitz toreador’s Deadyet. Deadyet hits Cthulowitz to block a Lucha roll. They each miss a few moves and go for a quick pin, reaching a stalemate. Cthulowitz dropkicks and sentons Deadyet. He proclaims he’s going to eat his soul. With that, Cthulowitz pulls out Deadyet’s intestines! Deadyet pulls Cthulowitz into a clothesline. He strangles Cthulowitz with his intestines. Deadyet hits a neckbreaker for two. Cthulowitz knee strikes Deadyet. He suplexes Deadyet for two. Cthulowitz gets face to face with Gorelust, Deadyet’s manager. Deadyet comes from behind and hits Cthulowitz with some dismembered body parts. Once they get back in the ring they throw forearms at each other. Cthulowitz lands a Dragon suplex. He drops Deadyet off his shoulders into a modified stunner for two. Deadyet chokeslams Cthulowitz before delivering That Zombanese Move for two. Deadyet sets up for a super chokeslam. Cthulowitz counters with a Frankensteiner. He turns Deadyet into the Texas Cloverfield. Deadyet tries to eat the referee’s brains while he’s in the hold, so the referee calls for the bell at 8:00. Cthulowitz reapplies the Texas Cloverfield and then let’s go. Cthulowitz is officially announced as the winner via disqualification. That was going along really well up until the finish. That was somewhat bizarre but I’m sure there will be some reasoning for it. **1/2

El Hijo del Bamboo comes out in all of his king regalia as he is the reigning Burger King of the Ring. He is set to challenge Moohammad the Terrorist Cow for the “Other” Championship. He comes to the mat, but is walking with a cane. Moohammad brings Bamboo to the stage. He says he was injured after kicking hit by a milk truck, so he is unable to perform tonight. He plans to forfeit the title to Bamboo since he respects him as the son of one of his best friends and as a former animal. As Bamboo and Mohammad embrace, Michael Von Payton makes his way out. He’s not down with Bamboo just being handed the belt. Payton convinces Bamboo to have a match with him to decide who the new champion is by knocking off all of Bamboo’s king regalia.

”Other” Championship
El Hijo del Bamboo vs. Michael Von Payton

Bamboo is seething with anger at Payton’s pre-match antics. Bamboo throws a few jabs at the start. Bamboo gets worn out and begins rolling around on the mat. He scares Payton in the corner and lays in ten punches. Payton drops Bamboo face first on the top turnbuckle. Bamboo is able to recover and deliver some clotheslines. Payton boots Bamboo to block another clothesline. Payton stomps on Bamboo’s hand. He punches Bamboo with his own fist. Payton gets one with a diving clothesline. Payton his another one for two. Payton has difficulty lifting Bamboo for a slam. So much so that Bamboo falls on him in a lateral press when Payton attempts to do so. Bamboo wins a headbutt exchange on the mat. Bamboo is way too adorable when trying to bring Payton over onto his shoulders. He ends up snuggling with Payton. Payton realizes what’s going and quickly escapes. Bamboo tornado kicks Payton to the corner. Bamboo hip attacks Payton for two. Payton crotches Bamboo on the top rope. He superplexes Bamboo. He then splashes onto Bamboo thrice for a two count. Bamboo rolls up into a standing Shiranui for two. Bamboo comes off the top rope with a seated senton for the pin at 10:01 to officially become the Other Champion. I think I say it every ISW show I review, but Bamboo is awesome, adorable, and underrated. I’m never not entertained when he’s in the ring. While Kingston’s random comments on commentary were funny, Payton was a key piece of this match working. And work it did! What a feel good moment and match this turned into. ***

Interspecies Wrestling Championship
Giant Tiger (Champion) vs. Twiggy

The League attacks Twiggy before Giant Tiger makes his way to the ring. Twiggy ejects everyone from the ring when he makes his way out. Kingston gives him one last punch before heading out. Tiger brings Twiggy to the corner to stop his chops. Tiger throws a chair at Twiggy on the floor. Twiggy chops Tiger against the apron. Tiger pokes Twiggy’s eyes and whips him into the crowd. He pours beer on him to add some humiliation. Tiger suplexes the merchandise table onto Twiggy. They end up on the stage. Tiger whips Twiggy into the wall and then back into the ring. Tiger goes for the Razor’s Edge. Twiggy turns it into an Ace Crusher. Tiger’s assistant pulls the referee’s foot. The referee gets distracted, allowing Tiger to strike Twiggy with the title belt. Beef Wellington comes out and gropes Tiger in the middle of the ring! Tiger looks confused and turns into a superkick from Twiggy. That only gets him a two count. Tiger gives Twiggy the no-armed Pedigree. Twiggy manages to kick out. Twiggy goes through Tiger’s legs to avoid the Razor’s Edge. A cyclone DDT and top rope splash get him the pin and the title at 6:36. This match was not about the in-ring action, but rather the build up of Twiggy finally winning the title after chasing it for years. Giant Tiger’s two year reign of oppression has been finished, Beef Wellington got revenge for Tiger raping his father, and a new chapter of ISW is ready to begin. ** based on the action, but the moment and story were excellent.

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